Here’s a question I don’t often ask

 I’ve been single and sexless for years. So why do I still have a penis?

Women use it to discredit me and make sexist generalizations. Women who should know better but don’t. 

I don’t use it. My sex life with my ex wife was such a pathetic war zone that I stopped paying attention. Sex destroyed my happiness and was a source of insults, derision, endless screaming matches, and pain for 30 years   If I had it to do again I would have slept in a locked separate bedroom where I was safe 

I don’t know or care if it works anymore. I’m so ugly I’d never masturbate—like the last guy anyone would want at the junior prom. 

If it’s vestigial why is it still here?  It looks stupid. 

So do I!  I hate all of myself but mostly that useless part. 

My ex-wife writes drivel about her workout schedule. The title of her most recent is “Aging with Grace.”  Aging I get but I wanted to ask: “who besides you refers to anything about you with the term’grace’?”  Are you living with an older woman named Grace?  How does she feel about this?  Grace is a spiritual concept. It’s not a cosmetic applied after lifting 40 pounds 10 times.