The Long Road Out

We know why ICE agents wear masks in general terms—because they're embarrassed. But has anyone thought about how difficult this must be for these poor citizens? These are the same trolls who ignored public policy and refused to cover up their cute little noses during COVID. How could they demonstrate their rugged ass-kissing individualism and hairy slovenly demeanors without spreading their germs and drool? Turns out, it's easy. Just give them a paycheck. Not a peep. Not a whimper. See how little these ICE bottom feeders whine about their rights now. Tell me who to pistol whip, boss.

  Robert Kraft ran an ad suggesting that black people could help Jews fight back against anti-Semitism. It omitted the concept that Jews might support economic and human rights steps that would assist Blacks. Yeah, pretty easy to resent the Patriots ha ha.   (There was also an NFL Super Bowl ad about potatoes, which I assume was a court requirement imposed on ConAgra due to monoculture damage litigation.) Ha. I’m so glad to know, thanks to Kraft who surely understands a thing or two about human rights, that good black folks should be taking the punches for Jewish men… I’m in awe of our country.  This is a country that can invade a neighboring sovereign nation and completely sell ourselves—hook line and sinker—that it’s their fault. (Venezuela, not Viet Nam or any of the others.) Thank you, Bad Bunny for the improv theater piece, essentially saying “our tiny Puerto Rican colony is way more fun and infinitely more sexy than your kingdom—and you can’t understand our...

I have a new girlfriend with a big heart. A big smile. A big and welcoming lap to rest my head on. Big hands to jointly haul the things that should be hauled and lift together what demands to be lifted.  My own life became small recently, as it eventually does for all of us. Sooner or later. Small like a 50 mg tablet of Zoloft. Small like false pageantry. Small like the masked men with guns we pay for with our tax dollars.  Small like our sense of justice. My girlfriend breathes with me. In those moments we share the size and cadence of connection. Joint exhales so big only peace and the sublime rhythm of beauty remain.  You know you're safe in the most treacherous terrain when following her pristine perfect ski tracks in the springtime snow.  I become emboldened when I follow, and strong when on parallel paths. What a wonderful new girlfriend!  What a glorious woman.

In the last two months I've weaned myself off Zoloft, under guidance from my psychiatrist. I believe Zoloft helped control the anxiety response triggered by my divorce years ago. But I also think one of the side effects—inability to orgasm—began to express itself. So, I dropped from 50 to 25 mg, and now down to 0. All seemed good until I got a random email from my ex. Now the old patterns—particularly the desire to point out how full of shit she is—have woken me. Sleep patterns are evolving but I'm hoping this isn't the return to previous 3 am sessions like the last two nights. It does me no good to ever think about my ex. I see her as an evil and careless narcissist who brings pain to those around her. Nothing good ever comes from her rare outreaches. And the remaining part of our divorce settlement causes me daily problems because I can't refinance my mortgage etc. or do normal banking. I'm having orgasms again and enjoying them—weaning appears to ha...

In the "too little too late" category, this from my ex who left and ghosted me over three years ago because she was attracted to an dominatrix.  My guess is that this message benefits her by allowing her to say " see how thoughtful and reasonable I am?" to herself and in stilted conversations with others.  Then, as now, I am not the intended recipient of her good intentions. I am simply a failed member of her audience.   As always, thank you for the interest payment. It is very helpful.  Schenectady was in the air last week--Happy would have been her Birthday to your mum on Friday. And that same day, I saw in FedEx tracking that a package of mine was passing through schenectady. Plus Kurt Vonnegut came up in conversation (a misquote of him, I think, but I'm not enough of a Vonnegut-knower, so not sure).  I hope there's skiing for you, if you are still excited about the prospect. I'm headed to AB for a month on ...

Hey—these guys released millions of documents. Not a single one includes facts about the perps. But bank accounts, addresses and emails and nude pictures of over 100 teen women were disclosed due to "redaction errors." This isn't an investigation. The Justice Department is the leading global producer of porn!!! The Porn Department. Bondi Porn Enterprises. Hey, it's all an out the articles, right????