Schedule crunch--and what it taught me

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I woke up anxious and even a bit angry this morning…an old habit from the past that has diminished somewhat as I've recovered.

 

And then it hit me…I have a 7:30 meeting that I'm leading and I'm not ready.  I have an 8:45 Masters Ski group workout and if I'm not prompt the group takes off without me.  I have a critical board meeting at noon, and I haven't covered the materials. 

 

And I have guests coming for a week on Sunday, so I'll partially lose control of my schedule.  That may be the worst.  My response was to schedule a group dinner during the week so I'd keep in touch with some of my new friends in town.  A bad pairing…NYC friends and mountain town friends. What do you cook???

 

Conclusion at the moment…5:33 AM:  I will be happiest for the next months living alone.  With no one in my space other than my two cats, who slept next to me in a joint cuddling ball all night. 

 

I do not want to share.  Anything!

 

I want my space, and my time, and my life.  I want to consciously choose every activity I do…for as long as I can. 

 

No more showing up.  No more approach/avoidance.  No more feeling like I disappointed someone who hasn't even noticed. 

 

 

 

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