Flirty texting

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Yesterday I was exchanging flirty texts either five different women. I'm attracted to all of them. One is staying with me for the next two days. Another is flying out from DC to be with me in a month. The messages are sincere, fun and sexy—jokes and one long discussion about clitoral stimulation.

Besides that, I have my two joyful cats.

And a home and a career that I'm currently enjoying more than I ever have.

So why, awake at 3, is the first person who pops into my mind my ex? Miss Viper? The Queen of Betrayals?

Yuck. ChatGPT will have a helpful answer: how do you kill a PTSD-induced mental virus? A damaging neural pathway that won't stop firing—that's drowning out so many happy things?

I've tried ketamine, THC, Zoloft, IFS, flirty texting! Deep breathing therapies! Victims of narcissist relationship support groups. I've exposed myself to so much wellness training I began to see myself as a victim—which in my limited experience is the most disabling disease anyone can acquire.

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