Sympathy for others

I'm selling my home in NYC.  It's difficult, sad, and necessary as part of a divorce settlement.  It's also challenging because of my depression and PTSD, and
I'm doing it alone, wandering in my dry emotional wasteland.  Add Trump and his catalog of grostesques and I'm in deep trouble.

Not as much as my ex apparently, who can wring attention out of any situation and cut me off from the support and human connection I need.  We had a call to reduce the price on the apartment yesterday.  I heard my ex-life partner's voice for the first time in over a year.  What did she have to say? 

                            "This is my last shot at money."  

That's what she had to say before she more or less lost her shit.  She has Addison's Disease, so I'm sure fight or flight responses are difficult to contain.  We never think about others when we're in extremis, and my ex wasn't gifted at other-centeredness prior to her diagnosis.

 So, here's the response to our session from our lead realtor after the 12 minute call yesterday:

We totally understand, Mina. We are going to reach out to everyone who has seen it to share the new price. It has already been updated on all the listing sites. I am planning on an open house this weekend. 

We will get it sold & try to get you the best price possible. 

Frustration & disappointment are hard emotions for any one and we know you are going through a difficult time. We are going to do all that we can to get it sold quickly for you and David.  

Leigh & Anna 

Excuse me, but how did I get cut out of the conversation yet again, as always happened during our marriage.  In 12 minutes.  Once again, the whole episode of getting blamed, dumped and ghosted—my experience that sent me in my deep PTSD spiral--is ignored. 

I'm almost 70, and I have to work for years to pay $120,000 a year in post-tax salary to my ex.  No one reads these journal posts, but wouldn't you think it would occur to someone to say "I imagine you're feeling the same way as your 58 year old ex-wife, David.  Are you afraid too?  Does this feel like your last shot?  Are you doing OK too?" 

Of course not.  I'll do this alone too.  I tried to apologize to my realtors and manage Mina's fear on the call yesterday.  Default behavior.  Make sure everyone is OK. 

From my realtor's response above,  I appear to have succeeded for those three.

And me?  Ignored again, except by myself.  My self sends love to me… I am strong and hidden, and I can survive for decades without love and attention.  Like a desert succulent.