Dreams

 I ha a dream that I was involved in a plot to destroy London. No idea what that was about. The City was being taken over by some large corporation.

The controller we delivered to me by a black drone. Maybe they’re all black. Sean Connery was involved but he was crazy and had to be restrained with a belt around his wrists. 

My brother was there. He was telling us all to stop watching pornography!  I literally think this nightmare was about the possibility that Trump isn’t imprisoned. That he’s still free to spill his poison on the unwashed masses. 

The real world is so much dirtier and more horrid than my dream of confused destruction. 

God—to go through this election alone. It makes me feel like a bad citizen to be out of step with the Trump zombies. To feel so empty of hope on a weak uninspiring agenda if Kamala wins after the months of lawsuits are over. 

And then we’re all stuck here, hating one another. The United Sewer of America. The USA. Land of political fundraising and empty promises and impaired historical memory. Unsharing Slobs of America. 

This rlectuon makes me feel more alone than anything in my life. Even the three walkouts by my narcissistic impaired ex wife. 

The PTSD is back this morning. Shit. I enjoyed the short vacation. 

Today is “fall back.”  I wish I had someone to hold for once in my life. Someone who I could trust to be kind. Someone to lay under the sheets with as the sun comes up over Mt Tose, and hour late. I’m waiting too.