The finances of my $300,000 divorce
In early 2023 I engaged counsel in a non-litigation contract to represent me in an uncontested divorce.
We spent $100,000 without resolving anything in five months.
Then I hired a mediator for $8000. In 3 1/2 hours, we agreed on the terms of our separation. The retired judge opined that we were well within all the equitable distribution precedents of New York State, and even offered a refund since the mediation had been easy and without drama.
Great huh?
$200,000 (and 14 months) later the two sets of lawyers have not agreed on the documents. We have negotiated minutia and edited documents in meaningless ways.
I love my lawyers but this isn't a legal system. It's organized extortion! Or perhaps picking over the carcass of a ruined 28 year friendship that I once valued.
I'm not even including anything my ex-wife may have paid.
Uncontested? I didn't contest. I know that. I can't speak for my ex, her lawyers, or my lawyers. No one paid me for being an easy client for our mediator, though I did get $3500 off his bill.
To the family law bar generally: you should be embarrassed. To the collaborative law folks: I don’t know where to begin. I suggest you scrap the entire system, beg forgiveness, and start from the very beginning again.
We spent $100,000 without resolving anything in five months.
Then I hired a mediator for $8000. In 3 1/2 hours, we agreed on the terms of our separation. The retired judge opined that we were well within all the equitable distribution precedents of New York State, and even offered a refund since the mediation had been easy and without drama.
Great huh?
$200,000 (and 14 months) later the two sets of lawyers have not agreed on the documents. We have negotiated minutia and edited documents in meaningless ways.
I love my lawyers but this isn't a legal system. It's organized extortion! Or perhaps picking over the carcass of a ruined 28 year friendship that I once valued.
I'm not even including anything my ex-wife may have paid.
Uncontested? I didn't contest. I know that. I can't speak for my ex, her lawyers, or my lawyers. No one paid me for being an easy client for our mediator, though I did get $3500 off his bill.
To the family law bar generally: you should be embarrassed. To the collaborative law folks: I don’t know where to begin. I suggest you scrap the entire system, beg forgiveness, and start from the very beginning again.
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