How do I feel, saying this to you?

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Alone myself, and mute too: here's what I wish.

I wish that you are frightened, but realistically.  Not based on your paranoia.  

Dependent on others to lie to you about your prospects.

Ignored by those who want to help you. (Because you've alienated them—not because they're bad people, though perhaps some are vile.)

Finally aware. 

In your conjured and celebrated imagination, which is your only reality, broke.

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