Questions about sex with you.

 1. You said you liked foreplay but you always rushed to insert me as soon as I got hard.

2.  I was afraid to cum unless I was inside you, for fear you would sulk or pick a fight.  Was I correct in these assumptions?

3. You never had orgasms with me, correct?  I stopped trying to figure out whether you came after your Arizona affairs in 2012.  It felt to me that you didn’t want to grant me the satisfaction of knowing I satisfied you in any way, sexual or not.  Correct?  Most importantly, or course, sexually.  

3b.  I was right that nothing mattered to you except insertion.  Right?

4.  Why did I put up with you in bed?  Sex was war.  It was a scoreboard and I was always the visiting team. Like an abused puppy I kept groveling for some sign that the abuse would stop. Yes, that’s a statement.  Not a question.  

I feel sad writing this post. I’m 70 and no longer attractive to myself.  I’m certain I’m not attractive to women.  I doubt I will ever feel skin against skin again.  And to think my sexuality which I treasured ended with someone who was miserable and openly rude and sometimes hostile near me.  It’s like losing the final game of your baseball career to a walk-off grand slam.