When did you first notice PTSD symptoms?
It was fall 2010. My wife had just done something that paralyzed me with embarrassment in front of a huge group of friends and strangers.
I ended up in the street. Several people followed me and gave me a hug, asking "did you know she was going to do that?" I could not speak to answer "no."
When she came out, I complained. This was the first time I realized I'd been the victim of gaslighting. She responded with all five steps of the Narcissist's Prayer—that didn't happen, if it did I didn't do it, if I did it I didn't mean it, if I did mean it it didn't matter, if it does matter you deserved it."
And she assured me should would not stop doing what she had just done.
I lived with daily PTSD every moment of our marriage since then. Recently, since I was finally able to grieve other losses, my PTSD mitigated somewhat, and blossomed into fullscale depression. I am doing everything I can to treat my current mental health issue, but I am alone so short on emotional resources. I am very dependent on my trusty therapist.
There is one source and one source alone for this "mortar shell" that tore my life to pieces: my ex wife. Let the record note my 20/20 vision on this dramatic life event.
I ended up in the street. Several people followed me and gave me a hug, asking "did you know she was going to do that?" I could not speak to answer "no."
When she came out, I complained. This was the first time I realized I'd been the victim of gaslighting. She responded with all five steps of the Narcissist's Prayer—that didn't happen, if it did I didn't do it, if I did it I didn't mean it, if I did mean it it didn't matter, if it does matter you deserved it."
And she assured me should would not stop doing what she had just done.
I lived with daily PTSD every moment of our marriage since then. Recently, since I was finally able to grieve other losses, my PTSD mitigated somewhat, and blossomed into fullscale depression. I am doing everything I can to treat my current mental health issue, but I am alone so short on emotional resources. I am very dependent on my trusty therapist.
There is one source and one source alone for this "mortar shell" that tore my life to pieces: my ex wife. Let the record note my 20/20 vision on this dramatic life event.
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