31 years since I stupidly shared my closet and bed with you

That single boneheaded error destroyed me. It has caused pain that never subsides. It has made me hate the world and nearly all the humans who eventually expire here.

Unnoticed like me.

What a fucking idiot I was. To let a sociopath in the door. My first cat died within months of your arrival. Bear knew. Hercules was six weeks old so didn't know any differently. Chloe made a break for it the very first open door she saw.

She knew life would be better for her on State Strewt than living with you and me.

Please don’t be a “goid@ person to anyone. They’ll be confused and less likely than our animals to recognize the poison you spread. 

People are not generally thoughtful, nice, or generous. Kindness in families and long term relationships is rare. 

So why do I single out Mina as anything other than banal and disinteresting. She’s just marginally below average I suppose. 

I know part of it is that I rarely needed her help, and she never provided any. 

Now I’m deeply depressed and struggling for air every day. Wouldn’t a sane person show up?

The answer is “no.”  My exwife never has, not even once. When people like me are in trouble, she disparages, dumps and ghosts. Could this be any more routine, any more pedestrian, any less surprising?  Banal. That’s my experience of my selfish terrified sick exwife. Never there when needed. Won’t shut up otherwise. 

How am I going to walk away from the debt she’s amassed and the destruction she’s caused in her 58 years. 

The tally of my marriage?  4 dead cats.  Grave illness (I’m quoting Mina’s lawyer who is graceless with words), clinical severe depression, not a single finished certification or professional growth accomplishment between the two of us. 4 dead parents. Lots of hair dye!  

Banal is right. Is there a single thing worthy of a top 50% ranking from my time with this monster?  Look at me then. And now. I paid every bill for her miserable failures. 

I paid an asshoke to fuck ne over!  Loser!