When I think of Beth, here’s what comes to mind

 Unworthy of respect. 

Below baseline human decency 

A total fraud

Unaware

Sociopathic 

Unattractive and an abusive sexual partner

Fat.

epigenetically deformed from Joe’s side. 

Lacking in language skills, and devoid of basic math essentials

Canadian—from the useless part (Western Ontario).

scared, selfish, unable to contribute to the wellbeing of others. Uselessly small, lacking in any courage, a failure at all things, alone. 

In serious trouble but amazingly not worthy of empathy because she abuses the privilege of care. 

Full of trauma, which disengaged her higher reasoning, as trauma does for me. But unlike many, she’s also missing access to the autonomous and limbic systems that replenish our spirit, so her damaged brain reneins ill, and her eyes cannot see 

A person unable to cancel family constellation contracts with her dad, and not able to escape the “whatever it costs” economics yet. This means she makes every task as complicated and unrewarding for herself and her enemies as possible.  This also means she is unable to self-heal or offer sympathy to the young girl within herself.

Hiding. 

Plotting. 

Full of a dark soul if poison, pensive as cortisol. Controlled by broken endocrine chemistry. Sicker than the doctors tell her. 

Hairless, because healthy hair requires healthy hormones. 

Someone with deformed short arms which is why her hand retracts when anyone asks her to reach out. 

Dying like the rest of us but certain if she acknowledges this common fact that she will be diminished. 

Tiny blind eyes  Tiny cracked heart. Terrified of food.  Empty of gender hormones. Sexless. Like me, impervious to ointments and lubricants and pleasure.