Thirty years waiting for approval that never arrived

 My ex doesn't think I'm worthy of a reply now.

That hurts, and it continues to make me angry.  She is not a deity.  She is not a priest.  She is not a judge.  Who gave her the right to condemn others and mete out her withdrawal punishments.  Who are her victims today?

I can see how, once her on/off switch is flipped, it's a short and logical step for her to ghost friends.  Even her best friend--me.  Or her first husband, Doron.  Or her mother.  Or Libby.  Or all the others.  Kelsey obviously.

We have been found lacking, and punished accordingly.

The reason this must seem logical to my ex is that she doesn't accord approval to those she hasn't discarded.

I worked hard for all those years in a daily scoring system of her making.  I would sleep better on the days that I hadn't been directly criticized.

I never went to sleep, in 28 years, feeling that my wife loved me.  OR that I'd met her needs.

I'm certain that the reason she stayed with me for 28 years was not because of me...she never cared less about my needs, or asked.

It was because she didn't have the goods to attract the next safe harbor.  

My ex must know, via her affairs and non-disclosures and endless trips for abandoned education. that there aren't any men like me out there.  

Sadly, I wish I had one trait in common with the men and women my ex endlessly pursued.  I wish I could spot a thief.  When one is asleep next to you in bed for 28 years, it should be easy.  It certainly was in 2012, 2022, and 2023---my ex showed up on someone's doorstep and got booted within a day or week or less.

How's your own medicine taste?  How's lying and cheating going for you?