Day 1 of settlement process

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1. I got a threat before I got the final signed document!  Notice of Default. The collaborative lawyers really know how to dial down conflict.  I guess that’s why they generally come from the bottom quartile of their class. (This is a topic for another book or two, Marcus.) 

2. Fortunately I know my ex-wife is considering my needs, exactly as she always has. Old leopards don't change their spots.

3. I've been ready to give her what she's owed—post-tax to her and always she gets cash first. In most cases years before me. Don't mind that though emptying all my savings is a bit rugged. And I have my ongoing medical bills and no cash. That scares me…what if I need full time care?

4. My anger is the direct consequence of being ghosted. Same in 2012. Same in 2022. Same in 2023. To comply with matrimonial law and our mediated settlement—and to still know your ex is a full throated motherfucker. That's the hard part. Again, I align with her previous victims. Knowing Mina feels like living in Gaza to me. Since I'm sick, the risk of physical harm or death feels similar—to me. I still matter if only to myself. I matter a lot to me. I think I still deserve having a person who cares for me. I hope so. 

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