Forgiving Canada

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Here are some things I forgive my ex-wife for:

 

  1. Refusing to respond or talk to me for 11% of the 28 years I knew her.  That's three years she felt entitled to teach me a lesson with her brutality.  I forgive you for that.
  2. Being such an emotional retard that she came back twice after having affairs, and didn't fully dump me until the third effort when she realized I was so gutted by her abusive cruelty that I shrank away in fear if she took a step toward me.  I forgive you for that.
  3. Dumping on me whenever I wasn't in the room for the last 13 years of our marriage.   How do I know this?  Because our tribe of friends would tell me.  Beginning in October 2010, and continuing endlessly ever after.  You even trashtalked me to Matt! (You also crucified Caroline to Matt---you're quite the catch!). And—I know because somehow it didn't dawn on our friends that you were shitting all over ANYONE who wasn't in the room, including these exceedingly well washed and cerebral people.  I forgive you for that.
  4. Do your new friends know about our STD situation?  You told all of my friends about it.  Just wondering.  I forgive you for that.  Maybe you're not virally active any more.  I'm probably not but I'm older than you.  I haven't had sex in the two years since you last left and I doubt I ever will again…I hate myself and I'm ugly and I'm full of hate.  No one is attracted to me.
  5. Making my parents so uncomfortable that they refused to stay overnight in our house for the last years of their lives.  I forgive you for that.
  6. Let's not discuss 2012.  Even I'd have to make up a fantasy of what happened to have a drop of self-esteem, so I understand why you lie about your own sideshow.  It's true, you didn't use the word "masturbation" at my father's funeral.  That's the best I can say for your sordid behavior.  I forgive you for that, with thanks…though Lucretia and Rachel had agreed to police you, thank goodness.  You still embarrassed yourself, and I forgive you for that too.
  7. Potentially shortening the lives of our two pets?  That's not my place, and I don't know for sure…we can't know.  I'll leave you to make peace with that for yourself.  I cannot judge.  And you were weak and needy, because, I believe, in each case, you'd been dumped by a lover who you hoped would save you.  I forgive your lovers for whatever they did.  I don't recall that I met the ones I know about.  I'll never know how many of your lovers I met, will I? 

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