Eligible for nada

When my life partner left me the last time, I was probably an ok prospect for a new relationship. I'm not handsome but I was in good shape and smiled a lot. I was financially successful and had a good record of long generally satisfying relationships. I had many interests and a wide group of friends.

I had progressive compassionate politics and was a good listener.

Now I'm depressed and alone. The lines on my face are deep and my muscles are long gone. I don't do drugs or drink, but I generally go to bed by 8. I haven't had sex in two years or more and doubt I'm a good sexual partner now.

And I'm angry at the cruel mistreatment I received. I don't like being around angry people. I don't like being with myself.

I used to be kind and generous. Now I have no one to help, so who cares!

I'm used up. No one wants me.

Maybe my ex wants me back. She would return whenever she got dumped by whoever she was fucking at the time. I don't know what her relationship status is now. I know she's trash talked me so viciously she'd have to lie to her community if she came for a visit. That's what she said the last time I saw her, in secret. That's ok. I'm accustomed to people being embarrassed to see me now.