After 2010…

I loved you still, but I never trusted you again.

My survival strategy was, as I often said, to get smaller. What I meant was to be less of a target for your gaslighting.

To never interrupt your performances with my own needs or thoughts, or, even worse, talk about myself on the way home in the Uber!

To protect myself from the pain of knowing I lived with a being who was capable of neither romance nor shame. 

To know that if I expressed myself, retribution, generally in public, was certain. That there would always be hell to pay.   

Now I am alone. I can't stop talking about you. Time to be large again. For my sweet loving self.

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