Impending doom

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Today I'm traveling with a sense that something I don't know about will hurt me. It's not paranoia…it doesn't feel like that. It's the sense that something is wrong and it's overloading the pressure gauges? It's more than the external system can hold, and it's more than my self can withstand…

I has the anxiety elements ( tight chest, tiredness, uncertainty about what to focus on) that I'm now so familiar with. And it has the same depressive elements too…why pick up the mail, defenselessness, loneliness, purposelessness) that set the boundaries of everything I do.

I'm on day 5 of Zoloft, but not home yet for my pill…so maybe early biochem mood swing is occurring? Maybe I feel guilt about seeing my brother last night and leaving my cat alone overnight—or being fearful of the grey fog that obscures my future…

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