The Long Road Out

More unanswered pleas to avoid the zero sum version of feminism practiced by my dependent ex-wife.  She has wasted a year negotiating approximately $14,000 ( less if the stock market stays down) beyond the $4.9 million in our mediated settlement agreement). Responding to the endless barrage of immaterial bullshit has cost me $124,000 in legal and accounting fees (I'm not charging her for any of my depression-related mental health bills.   A tawdry marriage.  A mediocre couple. Both of us forgotten by everyone for good reason.  Look at what we spend our time on when the world is burning.   Shame on you Mina. Shame on me for supporting anything you do.  Subject: Interest expense  Is there any chance you could call off this monthly interest request from Andrea?  You've asked for $2000 total, which would be offset by interest on the cash I've laid out for your 2022,2023 and 2024 taxes. The monthly analysis and th...

My therapist made the point that g few up in an environment where I was constantly graded. So it’s natural that I chose women as wives who were also graders.  Here’s the issue:  my mom gave nothing but A’s.  My first wife Melanie loved to give A’s and went out of her way to help people achieve them.  My life partner and last wife Mina:  have you given anything above a C+ in your whole life?  I don’t think you offered one to me. And I’m certain you never gave a grade above a C to yourself. That was the most painful and bizarre thing to watch—considering your arrogance and certainty. 

So you fly back from Montreal having texted me that you’re having sex with your own gender. And you’re polyamorous with a group from Fetlife.  You showed me pictures of Caroline’s sex worker page, and gushed over what a good lesbian she said you were.   Tell me— how should I have responded?  I know I got it wrong. Continue to call me a pig, but I still don’t know the secret answer to this puzzle.   Once I took you back in 2012, you knew you could abuse me and I’d hang around. So, yes, here I am, abused by you, and still around!  Watching you write about CrossFit for gods sake!!!  What happened to you????

 We’re both worried about money!  Of course, I’m not taking legal action against you while we split our illiquid assets. So that makes me a much nicer person. That’s been obvious to both of us for ages, I know   Also, I’m doing all the work.  What’s that about.  Let’s try out this whole collaborative idea which fucked up our mediation process beyond recognition. We did 99% of the work in three hours.  And then your morons took over and you didn’t rein them in. In fact, you bought spurs for your Doc Maartens.  Ride ‘ em, Tonto!!!

I'm two years into the fully blossomed onset, after a gestation period dating back to 2010, of non-responsive PTSD and depression. I do wish you had been on my team as part of the solution, Mina. Or even available. And maybe a little less critical and unhearing and bored and largely absent for the darkest parts. Investing your energy everywhere except in our love.  Most of our marriage, I was uncertain whether you were mad at me or cared for me.  The quality and quantity of affection I received was indistinguishable.   I need love. Particularly from you since we were married at the time. When I say love, I mean something similar to what I experienced from my parents, Melanie, John Marqusee, Lucretia. It’s a thing you never question.  Not the kind you grew up with. I don't believe you knew what my version of love was like. I never saw you experience it with anyone when we were together but I saw you seethe with anger at others who believed they had it. So I f...

Rudy Giuliani is a laughingstock. But we all know the evil in his reduction to meaninglessness is Trump. Collaborative law is an oxymoron. 1984 level. But we all know the evil in this silly, non-binding adversarial morass is you, Mina. You call the shots. There is no other client of the process of you getting your divorce. I am an unwilling participant. I am the only non-litigating client my law firm has. Look what collaboration with you means. No wonder you've had conflict in every family, relationship, writing group, job, educational effort, and CrossFit workout you've ever had. If I'd litigated, we would have been done with this a year ago. You and I both would have come out better. You called all the shots. This nastiness is because of what's inside your head and heart. That's why you get the same surprising result in everything you do. I on the other hand have succeeded in nearly everything except knowing you. Remember how frustrated yo...

My ex posted something recently about her struggles with what she wanted and what she thought she ought to do so she could age gracefully. As is often the case, she resolved this serious moral conundrum but attending two CrossFit classes. I propose that she consult with more serious minds before embarrassing herself further. I immediately thought of the short story "Who Will Say the Kaddish For Me?" Do 10 crunches and face the firing squad with improved abs! A few lights for consideration: We ought to talk kindly of our loved ones behind their backs We ought to attend the funerals of our spouses parents and not get blackout drunk. We ought to not fuck others. We ought to disclose all our financial transactions within a marriage. We ought to contribute equally to the wellbeing of our communities. We ought to listen carefully to what others have to say. That includes comprehending, too. We ought to read slowly enough that we learn and improve. ...