Such a drab way to start a day

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Just got a call from my divorce lawyer at 6 AM my time…to let me know my email isn’t working (it’s working fine…) and that my ex-wife’s law firm is stealing money from my 401k which doesn’t really exist anymore.  My lawyer hasn’t mastered the idea that California is on a different time zone, or that her firm’s email system has some flaws apparently.

 

Anyway, it’s sunny here in California…and my cats are happily playing by some of my flowering plants by the window.  Life is kind of OK…why does news of my manipulative and sad sack and fundamentally unattractive ex cause me to consider suicide?  I’m not even clinically depressed anymore and I have lots of reasons to feel OK about myself now that I don’t have the daily reminders of hatred from Mina.

 

I know it’s a joke to blame everything on Trump, but this country is such a shit show now and I see Mina as an essential part of the rape of North America.  Same narcissistic abuse.

 

And of course there’s my poor brother…I’ve been noting how raw I am to abusers—whether the failed mental health system, Mina, ICE, the daily putrification of Trump’s senility and neediness, etc.

 

There’s a horrid world out there and I don’t know how I’d survive if I didn’t have this beautiful place in the mountains as a hermitage.  I don’t want to go outside!!!

 

Wow, there’s nothing about my years with my that brings even the hint of a smile.  So desperately free of kindness and affection…so devoid of interest in my life and family and needs.  So captured by her own ego needs that each day was a curated performance

 

Marriage can be the loneliest place in the world, at least with someone like my ex.

 

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