What I could not afford

You had stopped offering anything, and then you informed me that you were in an open marriage.

 

One half of nothing was what was on offer.  If I behaved.

 

I had no more to give away, and lost nothing more by saying "no."

 

I only wish I had known this at the time.  Or in 2010.  One word was all I needed and I could have avoided the collision scene you call your selfish life.  I would have passed through my mental breakdown, and my pain, long long ago. 

 

You would not be sepia, like a memory.  Or buttermilk, like a preserved rich moment.  You would be black.  Like a raven.