Everything I hate about the U.S. represented in one President

Trump represents everything I hate about my country.   How bizarre that after all these years the pacifist left has to hold on to the slim hope that Trump is simply as inept as he's always been--a weak and failed business person, a morally confused human, and an intellect slowed by too many dumb companions.

These are the things I hate about America:

• We are the world's worst bully.   You have to go a pretty long way to hit number 2, which is probably Israel, and then 3, which might be Russia?   It's a multi-country tie for fourth--and the list pretty much parallels the list of weapons exporters.  We continue to be the leading seller of lethal firepower into the world's murder zones.   We earn extra points from our history of diplomatic hanky-panky and the per cent of our GDP invested in covert militarism and surveillance.  
• We believe we're exceptional.   Dudes, we're not in the top 20 in ANY category normally identified as indicators of civilization.   Child health?   No.   Education level? No.  Per cent of citizens voting?  No.  Happiness levels?  No.   Per cent of adults incarcerated...wait, yes, we're the best in the world at that!   Hey, America.   Congratulations on winning something.  We suck as a nation, and every one else in the world knows it.  Fortunately, most countries now have policies that allow them to get on with their lives without considering what stupidity the U.S. will come up with next.  Europe certain operates that way now.  Canada is taking accelerated steps to get there.
• We're the environment's worst nightmare.   I was flabbergasted when Obama claimed during his retirement speech that we'd led the world on climate change.   Says who?   We've gutted and ignored treaty after treaty, and we're behind every one else in cleaning up our shit--or not even paying attention.   Trump proposes to ignore even our own meager laws on environmental standards.   It boggles the mind, since only a few outdated business guys benefit short-term from killing off our planet.   Trump, of course, is one of those few, so what would he know.   Old businesses, old profits, dying old white men running them.
• We're anti-intellectual and anti-aesthetic.  Stupid, and poorly dressed.   Welcome to America!  We used to punch out the smart kids behind our junior high schools.   Half of us continue the behavior, even though we're now 58 and have respiratory diseases.  Being smart is bad news here.  On the aesthetics--we have ugly outfits.   Really--get a fashion makeover, guys.  
• We're ignorant of others, proud of it, and yet we believe we understand all their nefarious plans to steal from us.   You can't ever have met a Mexican or Canadian or Russian to hold the stereotypes--mostly self-contradictory--that Trump and apparently his supporters hold.   And you can't be listening to the foreign-born citizens who live in your neighborhoods either:  you clearly don't know how scary and silly they all think the U.S. looks (except for the Russian immigrants--they have good reasons to think that this mess here is an improvement).  I continue to believe that the U.S. needs mandatory international travel for all citizens prior to the age of 25.   Further, you should not be allowed to vote if you've never eaten foreign food prepared in its home country.  Sorry--no voter registration credit for Olive Garden or Taco Bell.   Don't try to cheat--we'll run a blood test on you and all the ConAgra plastics injected in American fast food will give you away.
• Our money is stupid and it's hard to use elsewhere.   I don't just mean that we're the last country in the world to adopt chip technology.  That's just a minor embarrassment when traveling abroad.   I mean intentionally interfering with international markets and access to international customers (killing TPP, fucking with NAFTA).  What possible improvement in corporate profits will occur because of a Trump policy shift to cut us out of international trade opportunities, if any?   And yet the Goldman and Morgan Stanley and CS idiots are all running up the stock market.   Hopefully small investors won't follow suit so that they'll have their savings stolen yet again when the investment bankers go short.  The Goldman guys aren't smart--they're just a day quicker than you.

Why do I love the U.S.?   It's kind of like rooting for a third-rate baseball team that remains full of hope.   Let's say the Chicago Cubs, for instance.  Essentially never (OK, rarely) in the running but always hopeful that "this will be the year."  We do have a beautiful founding story, even though we've never come remotely close to our own aspirations.

Yes, America is like the Chicago Cubs.

I mean the Cubs if they were racist, sexist, armed, without access to healthcare, making $8.25 an hour, and scared of everything.  Those Chicago Cubs.