Hi, guys...here's the country we live in!
A very special day for this putrid United States:
- The NRA does not negotiate. So, some woman has been living with a guy for 30 years. He offs himself with his handgun. Turns out some NRA bequest guy had talked this suicide guy into transferring his estate to the NRA. He left the house to his girlfriend…but no cash. So the woman is bankrupt, and in huge debt to the IRS (similar to the NRA, the IRS frowns on negotiation). A friend of this now-homeless woman reaches out to the estate staff at the NRA asking if there’s any flexibility to aid this victim. Ha. That’s funny. Form letter response.
LESSON learned: girls, don’t date NRA members. They commit suicide, lie about their financial goals, and have small penises.
- Trump sets the G20 Finance Minister agenda. Have you seen the film Wedding Crashers? Similarly, a bunch of finance ministers showed up this morning in Asheville, and surprise, the finance ministers from Russia and China are in town and sitting next to you! They are not members of the G20---explicitly. So, the whole group abandoned whatever international capital management agenda they had and discussed whether they should participate in the mandatory group photo.
LESSON learned: girls, don’t date finance ministers. Their jobs are stupid.
- Dorks on bikes are bad. Somewhere in this maelstrom of hatred and ignorance, a directive was issued that the Federal government would no longer offer funding for bike paths. Why? Because bike riders like black people more than truck drivers do. (?...?) And, besides, it’s hard to drive your pickup truck into people when they’re on a bike path.
LESSON learned: fuck the US government under Trump. If you work for this administration, you’re fat and stupid and your family thinks you’re spineless. Girls will NEVER date you. Shame on you.
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