One becomes nothing

My experience of love was as a partnership unit so strong that my vision and understanding as an individual disappeared.

Losing love was a surgical separation that left me without my heart, soul, and mind.

My partnership destroyed me, and left me without myself. I am small, hurt, and afraid. I miss myself more than I miss my ex.

So now I'm 70 and starting from scratch. It's a small life. Like my dad and my grandfather. I recall grander times. My dad tried to make the best of this period in his life but died of boredom and a bad diet. My grandfather died of drink perhaps—and yes a terrible diet.

I may not die for awhile but I recall who I was and miss me. I will ultimately die alone as a direct result of being cut in half. My previous self was inhabited by a narcissist and a sociopath, but you can't see that from inside love. Only when cleaning up the blood in the operating theater.

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