Yesterday I was exchanging flirty texts either five different women. I'm attracted to all of them. One is staying with me for the next two days. Another is flying out from DC to be with me in a month. The messages are sincere, fun and sexy—jokes and one long discussion about clitoral stimulation.
Besides that, I have my two joyful cats.
And a home and a career that I'm currently enjoying more than I ever have.
So why, awake at 3, is the first person who pops into my mind my ex? Miss Viper? The Queen of Betrayals?
Yuck. ChatGPT will have a helpful answer: how do you kill a PTSD-induced mental virus? A damaging neural pathway that won't stop firing—that's drowning out so many happy things?
I've tried ketamine, THC, Zoloft, IFS, flirty texting! Deep breathing therapies! Victims of narcissist relationship support groups. I've exposed myself to so much wellness training I began to see myself as a victim—which in my limited experience is the mo...
Yup, agreed.
ReplyDeleteReminds me that recently my brother and his GF were visiting from way out of town, and we went to my newest favorite local pizza place to get slices.
My brother and I asked for regular slices, fresh out of the oven and looking perfect. She, always needing to be different, ordered a slice of an all-white pie on the counter. (For example, at Mamoun's Falafel, she ordered something like a spinach pie, which she didn't like... but who in their right mind would order anything but falafel at Mamoun's?)
So we sat down to dive into our yummies, and she blurted out: why doesn't mine have any tomato sauce?
BECAUSE YOU ORDERED AN ALL-WHITE SLICE.
She then approached the counter and asked for -- and received -- a little cup of tomato sauce to spoon over her slice.