The Long Road Out

When I go I want to go peacefully in my sleep, and not screaming with fear and pain and trauma like Beth's husbands. Thanks to Google and Jack Handy for their contributions to this post.

What a beautiful kind and loving being you were. Whiter than snow and with expressive eyes I sometimes understood and sometimes didn't. You were always close but almost never underfoot. I have two cats with me now. They're sleeping on both sides of me, purring gently. I believe they know I'm thinking of you, and missing you. And wishing you were here with us since they know I still love you… They are lovely beings in their ways, just like you Emily. We three greet you, here and now, two years after your death.

The guy spoke a good economic justice line. Still, the Catholic Church has such high overhead (and bankruptcies caused by litigation) that they are the least effective philanthropy on the planet.   Here's a beautiful example of the hope he stood for:   This "[trickle-down]"opinion, which has never been confirmed by the facts, expresses a crude and naïve trust in the goodness of those wielding economic power and in the sacralized workings of the prevailing economic system. Meanwhile, the excluded are still waiting. To sustain a lifestyle which excludes others, or to sustain enthusiasm for that selfish ideal, a globalization of indifference has developed.   Francis was a fellow traveler, for sure.  He dealt with felons and thugs who were a lot worse, but I'm sad that one of his last meetings was a photo-op with JD Vance who represents the purest version of stultifying blindness to everything sane economists, activists, and this particular Pope have ...

Harvard may be the only private university that runs at a profit so this move won't hurt them much and won't matter to others. The reason I support this new random childish insanity from the tiny fearful bullying mind of Trump, the retard in chief, is simple: if the courts accept this they'll have no basis to not tax religious institutions who get a free ride providing propaganda. It's about time Bob Jones University and the Methodist Church started paying their fair share of real estate and "income" taxes. Note to the IRS: don't bother with the US Catholic Church—most dioceses are bankrupt and will be in the red for decades until they close for good. Btw, Don. Have you noticed that your state universities have also unionized to rebuff your thought police efforts?  These land grant schools also can ignore you.  Go Harvard. Go University of Illinois!  

It's your birthday. Three years ago you chose my philandering wife over me. She has less than a third of my intellectual firepower. She is unable to experience shame. She's selfish in the bad way that leads to chronic non-disclosure. She has yet to succeed at her ambitions. She gaslights and trash-talks her friends. It's always someone else’s fault, when she’s needed but absent (as she was for you when your marriage ended). So why did you do that? I hope she's not part of your birthday. It reflects poorly on you. Your choice. And don’t worry that I judge you.  I’m in no position to do that of course.  I endorsed and supported her for 28 years despite the abuse she heaped on me and so many other people we both know.  I take full responsibility. 

Perhaps a separate decade or eon from this particular one. Or a part of the universe that isn't craven? Not now. Not here. Led by a sick bozo with no measurable IQ, no knowledge of emotional intelligence, and a mobsters' genetic code. A shake-down cry baby. Just a lonely ego with neither id nor superego. The Frumpster!

I woke up to a dream that my ex-wife was trying to break into my bathroom while I was in there. I was pushing against the door and she was in the other side yelling "you can't come home with me." We've lived separately for over three years. I thought that point was pretty obvious. But she was still fighting and criticizing. I am so disappointed by her. I needed and deserved a real friend. Not her. I wanted love and affection and approval and could never get enough. I cheapened myself by tolerating a very toxic marriage. I have so many other emotions about that long period of my life—anger, grief, depression. None drive me away from her. Disappointment does, perhaps? Disappointment allows me to see her as small and uncaring. What was I doing with a person who regularly denied others, blamed everyone else for her weaknesses, and who was absent far more often than she was present? And I pandered to that! I'm disappointed in myself. I'm so much better th...