If there’s anything I value…

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It will break or tarnish or dent or discord or discolor or generally turn to shit.

That's just the way it is baby.

Look at my marriage. I valued it. I was never as good as I thought it was. It's likely not as bad as I believe it was now. But it was a gaslight hell. Punishment every day. Low blows coming at me from all directions.

My pets all died eventually. Same with my family. Gone.

My favorite homes. Sold. Never to be seen again.

I live an unnoticeable life with a roommate. I probably drink too much in the evenings. I don't read or go to movies.

I take anti depressants but they don't help. I'm 70 and aging rapidly. I don't like to look in the mirror any more. It reminds me of friendships I've lost, or been disappointed by.

There is no part of me that is lovable.

Like I said, if I touch something, it's stained and ruined. God I hate myself. Live in a box and disappear.

I live in a shitty country that can’t compete without charging tariffs on more capable and talented nations. 

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