Proof Positive! Central Park Conservancy likes little dark children

Central Park Conservancy has made subtle indications suggesting their new policy to endorse the use of Central Park by minority children, particularly those with lighter skin.    The policy shift is evident in public communications from CPC, such as the one below near the West 67th St. entrance.

CPC Sign Suggesting that Minority Children, as Long as their Skin is Not Too Dark, are Now Welcome in Central Park

"Putting up signage indicating that it's acceptable to bring children of color, as we call them, into our Park is now our third highest strategic priority," Claire Schmolly, spokesperson for CPC, told this blog.

"Of course, our highest priority will be to buy too many vehicles for Park maintenance," she assured us.  "What a fleet we have now, huh?   And it'll only get bigger, the more unnecessary vehicles we buy. "

Scholly confirmed that the ultimate goal of CPC's leading priority is to own so many vehicles that it's impossible to get any human beings into the Park.  "We're pretty certain that eliminating foot-bound traffic will completely solve other problems," she said, referring to litter, wear and tear on newly-seeded lawns, and difficulties CPC employees have finding benches to take naps on during work.

Central Park Conservancy's second highest financial priority also remains unchanged:  fences.  "Many of our Board members came from the suburbs, so they only feel comfortable in 1/4 to 1/2 acre penned-in lots similar to the back yards they recall from their childhoods," Schmolly confirmed.   "You should see our Board when you let them out in an open field or pasture.   The last time we did this, over half of them just sat down where they were and began to sob uncontrollably.  We won't make that mistake again."

Schmolly and others spoke with some awe about the fact that Central Park Conservancy has now paid for over 16,000 miles of fencing, all within the boundaries of the 810-acre park.   "That's 200 miles of fence per acre!   Aren't we amazing?   This really provides the kind of suburban biosphere that allows our donors to feel they never have to leave the comfort of the images of their childhoods in Westchester."

Schmolly assures every one that the introduction of this third "putting up signs with pictures of black boys and girls" strategic priority will not diminish CPC's aggressive pursuit of more new vehicles and more miles of fences.  "Nothing will change, don't worry," she said.  "We know how to buy vehicles and fences.   Now we're just adding some sign-making capabilities as well."