Feeling sad for baby Donald and Elon

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It must be really hard for both of you, having to confront, once again, your own inabilities to form appropriate connections with anyone.

And then, having sustained the loss of yet another potential source of love and resoect, to find yourself in that same old familiar spot: alone, and posturing. How many times have you both snarked at the world "I never liked you anyway!"?

And then snuck a side glance at your text messages to see if there was anything new from the only source that matters. "Not me! I didn't look! See? My iPhone is silenced!"

How brutal the vicissitudes of romance! How undependable the brittle strands of new love. How sad, the empty solace of yet another tragic failure. Will this loneliness never end?

"Mommy and Daddy—you owe me. You were terrible love coaches. I still don't know how," sobbed Donald.

Either does black-eyed Elon!

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