Anachronistic casting error ruins Wolf Hall series debut

The directors and publicity staff of PBS's new television series Wolf Hall, which debuted this weekend, are at a loss to explain how John Bates, the valet played by Brendan Coyle in PBS' other smash historical drama Downton Abbey, managed to appear in every scene in the first episode.

Coyle's character is noteworthy in that he never actually says anything in Downton Abbey.  Coyle has been quoted as noting that "I have very clear instructions to do nothing on the show except smile and make doe-eyes."

"It's not as easy has it looks," Coyle continued defensively.  "You try doing that thing with your eyes when you're standing behind bars or while you slowly deduce that your wife has been raped."

Mark Rylance, who plays Thomas Cromwell in the new Wolf Hall, was particularly nonplussed by the surprise cast member.  "It's really difficult to overcome, frankly," he told us.  "We're having enough trouble pretending there's anything going on in Wolf Hall, and then this guy who's got a dumb smile on his face is just sitting there in the middle of the scene."

Several viewers felt the addition of Bates was confusing.  "Did you see the part where he was just standing in front of Katherine of Aragon [played by Joanne Whalley]?  And he had that kind of 1920's butler outfit on, which made no sense in a scene set in the 1560's when one expects Thomas More or King Henry or whatever," one viewer blogged.

"It's really unfair.   She is only in three episodes because, well, you know what happens to Katherine because of the whole 'no male heir' thing." another blogger commented.  "I don't think Bates should have been standing in front of her in that scene."

"I'm worried," said Peter Straughan, who co-wrote the series with the book's original author Hilary Mantel.  "The series is already full of over-the-top earnestness and an insanely simplistic moral order.    If there's one thing we didn't need, it was the appearance of a character from an entirely different century who represents exactly the same two-dimensional dramatic elements."

"I think if he doesn't leave, Wolf Hall doesn't have a chance of surviving," Straughan admitted.

"We don't want to give anything away but I think there's a beheading or two in upcoming episodes.   You won't even be able to see the blood or anything with Bates standing in the middle of the shot."

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