The Long Road Out

I woke up anxious and even a bit angry this morning…an old habit from the past that has diminished somewhat as I've recovered.   And then it hit me…I have a 7:30 meeting that I'm leading and I'm not ready.  I have an 8:45 Masters Ski group workout and if I'm not prompt the group takes off without me.  I have a critical board meeting at noon, and I haven't covered the materials.    And I have guests coming for a week on Sunday, so I'll partially lose control of my schedule.  That may be the worst.  My response was to schedule a group dinner during the week so I'd keep in touch with some of my new friends in town.  A bad pairing…NYC friends and mountain town friends. What do you cook???   Conclusion at the moment…5:33 AM:  I will be happiest for the next months living alone.  With no one in my space other than my two cats, who slept next to me in a joint cuddling ball all night.    I do not want to sha...

Yesterday I was exchanging flirty texts either five different women. I'm attracted to all of them. One is staying with me for the next two days. Another is flying out from DC to be with me in a month. The messages are sincere, fun and sexy—jokes and one long discussion about clitoral stimulation. Besides that, I have my two joyful cats. And a home and a career that I'm currently enjoying more than I ever have. So why, awake at 3, is the first person who pops into my mind my ex? Miss Viper? The Queen of Betrayals? Yuck. ChatGPT will have a helpful answer: how do you kill a PTSD-induced mental virus? A damaging neural pathway that won't stop firing—that's drowning out so many happy things? I've tried ketamine, THC, Zoloft, IFS, flirty texting! Deep breathing therapies! Victims of narcissist relationship support groups. I've exposed myself to so much wellness training I began to see myself as a victim—which in my limited experience is the mo...

I have someone business changes going on in my life and I'm approaching them with a new perspective: play to win Maybe you're thinking "isn't that the point? Who has the most shekels at the end?" You must be one of the mindless supporters of capitalism but you're probably right. I always played for partnership. For loyalty. For seeing process and product improvements through to the very end. So how did I come to aspire to the same goals shared by the tech bros and every guy who owns an auto dealer? All the bad entrepreneurs who can't get out of their own way. My ex-wife. I played for a life partner. If I was playing to win then, I would have passed her by. She's nobody's prize, and she knew it. She WAS playing to win—but didn't have the staying power or the chops to achieve what she so urgently desired. She wanted the strange stew of power/fortune/fame reserved for Internet influencers. The poor kid. She got stuck with me! No...

I only fly business class. So applying Plus Points for a discount and then not upgrading me means I'll cancel the booking. For instance today. Your biz class fare to London was $14,000. With PlusPiints it was $4800. Fair enough. However, there are many other options on the same route for $7000– proving you don't have complete price collusion yet in your industry. I'm premier 1k but I'm not going to buy a ticket from you that's more than say 105% of other comparable tickets. So, 0 for 3. Third time I've tried to use Plus points. Third time I've cancelled while at the gate and slept in my own bed. I rescheduled—on Iberia, JetBlue Mint, and Emirates respectively. I hope you think you're 0 for 3, just like I do. You have too many MbA's on your loyalty program leadership team, I believe. Hire a few humanists. Please know that PlusPoints are damaging to my needs as a traveler.

I bought a new house and among other projects I'm replacing the 2008 water guzzling toilets with Toto Aqua IV's. The Toto toilets are easier to clean, less likely to clog, and far more handsome. I'm replacing one at a time—I enjoy projects but let's be real. It's 2 hours of unglamorous work. How did Trump fuck me? Toilet 1: $538. Toilet 2 a month ago: $533. Toilet 3 ordered today: not available. So I searched other sources and Home Depot has them in stock still: $900. Fucking Trump tariffs. You owe me $370, you fat fuck! And a lot more ha ha. Try buying a Polestar now—Volvo has pulled out rather than deal with this shit.

I bought a new house and among other projects I'm replacing the 2008 water guzzling toilets with Toto Aqua IV's. The Toto toilets are easier to clean, less likely to clog, and far more handsome. I'm replacing one at a time—I enjoy projects but let's be real. It's 2 hours of unglamorous work. How did Trump fuck me? Toilet 1: $538. Toilet 2 a month ago: $533. Toilet 3 ordered today: not available. So I searched other sources and Home Depot has them in stock still: $900. Fucking Trump tariffs. You owe me $370, you fat fuck! And a lot more ha ha. Try buying a Polestar now—Volvo has pulled out rather than deal with this shit.